Some contemplations have arisen on this day, as I usually set aside a few minutes to ponder my life and blessings.
I realized that as hard as I've been trying to make myself believe that I'm miserable these past few months, I've got some things in my life that a lot of people wish they had, especially at this time of year. People I used to envy more than anything are still wearing themselves out, desperately grasping at aspects of life that I comfortably hold.
I've got a loving husband and a solid, growing marriage. It isn't perfect and we definitely have our moments. But while some go back home tonight to their lonely old selves, my partner in crime is right here with me and I know he is dedicated to me for life. I am secure in our love and the ring on my finger and warmth his eyes tell me I don't ever have to question it.
We have a roof over our heads and with all the necessities (and a few extra comforts!).
My husband has had a stable, well paying job in the U.S. Army for the past two years (almost three).
His gunshot that has caused us so much grief? Is actually a blessing in disguise, not only bringing us closer together, but assuring that he will have some form of income for the rest of his life.
We have loving families who encourage us and support us.
We're stable financially.
Our puppy is the best creature on which I could bestow my motherly love at this point.
Our cars are paid off and even the older one still runs alright.
...and so many more things.
Why was I ever so silly to envy those people, when none of the happiness I craved was dependent on them anyway? It's even sillier when I have all of these things (and more) and they barely even have one or none at all. I kind of pity them. Some of them can't attribute it to lack of trying, just incorrect timing, I suppose. I'm not looking down my nose at anyone either. I'm just realizing that I have so much in my life, and some of those things are the reason some people cry themselves to sleep every night.
What have I really got to be miserable about?
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