Separation of Life and Internets

Dear readers who read (redundant, because that means you, assuming you are reading this right now; I know, it's a silly and trivial thing):

I've had a lot of brain things going on inside my head and I'm rearranging some mental furniture. In layman's terms, you could say I'm changing.

Changing what, well...if I had any clue, I would play nice and enlighten us both at the same time.

I just know it's change because it hurts. And it sucks. And I am sensitive and angry and constantly roiling with conflicted emotions about myself and about other people. I really don't know what to think at the moment; I only hope things will improve.

I'm trying to stay quieter, I guess you could say, in terms of my writing. I've used my blogs to write out frustrations in the past and it's done some unsightly things--to me and to others. Part of this whole change fight (and only a part) is learning to keep my mouth shut, even when my anger makes me want to run rampant through the interwebs and destroy things.

But behind every computer screen (as I promise is the case here) is a human being. And most of us have pretty relatable feelings. I'm surprised I hadn't learned my lesson, what with my own experience of being trashed on the blog of she-who-shall-not-be-named. I'd rather my anger be channeled out another way than damage relationships and people.

I'm trying to stay quieter in general, really. My fingers tend to be little chatterboxes when they get near a keyboard and it's hard to shut them up. Never mind that my brain goes a hundred miles an hour. I'm way too attuned to this social media thing, announcing every little thing I'm feeling and hoping every single person notices. We really shouldn't give a rip. You might have a heart attack thinking about how people separated their social lives from their personal lives before the Internet.

I think that's what I need to go back to though, unless I have something incredibly mind-blowing to share. Then, I won't hesitate. But the little stuff, eh...you could probably live a full, happy life without knowing. My word vomit is pretty much for my sake anyway, not that I need the ego boost.

So I'll be here and there, but most likely not posting as often. Some mental things need to be straightened out, as well as emotional and relational. I'll see you when I see you.