A Blessing

Today (well yesterday, I suppose--we've gotten into the habit of being up a little late) we celebrated twenty-four years of my husband's life. That is a huge deal to me, considering there was a possibility of him not making it to this point (as some of you know). The one thing I am most grateful for is that he is even present to plan festivities for. There was a good chance we could have lost him in March; something I never wanted to consider while he was deployed, but that I must face now that I know the whole story.

Did I know almost three years ago when I met him that I would fall in love with him, wait for him through basic training, five months of being stationed two thousand miles away from me, a year of being deployed in a war-torn country, and finally nurse him through a serious gunshot wound? I couldn't have ever imagined it. Does that give me security for the future? Not if I didn't know that God has higher thoughts than mine and a plan for our life.

In January, it will be three years since we met and since he joined the army. As of now, he's been alive twenty-four years and I have been alive nineteen and a half. We were engaged a year and a half ago; married a year ago. I miscarried what would have been our first child eleven months ago. He was shot seven months ago and I have lived here in Hawaii for the same amount of time.

So much has happened in that long stretch--things I couldn't even begin to tell you about (though I've mentioned more of the high-profile/important things). And you know what? I wouldn't trade any of it for the world, even all the heartache, loneliness, and agony. If given the choice, I would do it all again, because I know it's going to lead to something amazing. God always has a better plan. It looks nothing like mine, and that's probably a good thing.

We have grown, matured, and learned so much in the time we have been together so far. And I have a feeling there's so much more for us to learn. But even in the rough spots, I remember how bad things have been and how much better they have gotten, and known in my heart that God is truly faithful. He is not a man that He should lie and He has promised us a future and a hope. Through whatever else we may face, I will cling to that with all of my being.